there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
ok first of all what the fuck
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
