i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
