If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
