So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Randomize
