ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
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