so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
