Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
she told me i tasted like america
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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