yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
