did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
