i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
