I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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