Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
its liver damage thursday
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
