these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
