Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
