I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
