I wanna bring you to show and tell
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
