So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
