Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
