I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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