Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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