just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
