I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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