Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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