bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
