How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I think I have vodka in my lungs
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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