Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
