lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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