i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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