who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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