Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
