she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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