Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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