Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
