If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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