I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
