Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
