Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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