Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
