no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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