the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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