Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
