Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
