I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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