So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
