I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
