My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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