I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
