i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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