just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
