Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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