dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
