It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
